Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the lab
Not a creature was stirring, not even a postgrad.
The pipetmen and tip boxes were arranged with care,
In hopes that science elves soon would be there.
The postdocs were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of job offers danced in their heads.
And the PI, at home, took off her many caps
And rested her brains for a well-deserved nap.
When from the cell culture room there arose such a clatter
The grad student rushed to see what was the matter?
Away to the culture hood he flew in a flash
Turned off the UV light and raised up the sash.
The neurospheres bobbed merrily in their own private party
Transiently transfected, they proliferated smartly.
The epithelial cells broke free from their tight junctions
Downregulating e-cadherin and migrating to the function.
The mycoplasma were raising microscopic mayhem
And the opportunistic fungus could barely be stemmed.
But hush! There came silence and the ruckus stalled
For here is Science Santa with presents for all!
Data for the PhD candidate in her fifth year
The replicates have p values <0.005, never fear!
Acceptance without revision from the journal Nature?
The young post-baccalaureate just advanced in stature.
A tenure-track position, which was his sole goal
Now the senior postdoc won’t be on the dole.
For the PI, her broken budget can finally be mended
That R01 in the 5th percentile will surely be funded?!
With a wink of an eye and a twitch of his nose
His bounty unloaded, up and away he rose.
Then Science Santa called, as he flew into the New Year
Happy Experimenting to all, and to all Good Cheer!
Donna Stolz (Univ. Pittsburgh) created this festive wreath by assembling images of mammalian cells from more than 25 experiments.
Apologies to Clement Clarke Moore who wrote the original (and better) poem in 1822: http://www.carols.org.uk/twas_the_night_before_christmas.htm
Suggestions, additions or edits to the bad rhyme? 🙂